My daughter has been taking riding lessons at Circle R Ranch for a month or so. It is a bit of drive from the city so I find myself exploring the grounds as I wait for her lesson to wrap up. Aside from the deer fly that buzzes around my head, it is very peaceful.
Exactly twelve weeks ago today, I gave birth to our little Avianna. It has been both wonderful and overwhelming to have a new baby in the house again. Though I've done this a few times before, I seem to have forgotten how they take over your life. How hard it is to get out of the house some days. How tired I would be. How messy the house can get. Most of all, how overwhelming it is to be responsible for this little itty bitty being. It was especially hard for awhile, as my better half was away for work for seven of her twelve weeks. Though he is back now, he is at work more than he is at home and I feel like I am single parenting. I love my kids, dogs, and even my squirrels, but it is a lot of work to make sure everyone is being taken care of. Sometimes when I'm doing my day to day I don't realize it. But there are those moments when the reality of it all sneaks up on you and takes your breathe away. I wouldn't change it for the world - as hard as things can be, one little smile from that baby and all is forgotten. Everything will be fine - I know as time goes by it gets easier. Just last week I started baking again - it was wonderful to find the time to be creative again.
As I sit here I remember back to when I was younger. I went to camp here at Circle R. I remember winning a photo contest which was quite possibly for a picture taken from where I am sitting now. Sitting here with the birds chirping, the noise of water flowing, and bees buzzing is paradise. I can relax for a bit - but only for another 29 minutes to be exact.